


The Shark Incident

by Inquartata (mackillian)



Series: Tessera [8]
Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: F/F, Prompt Fic, Strong Language Warning, Thaia Says Fuck Like It's Punctuation, which means
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-23
Updated: 2018-10-23
Packaged: 2019-08-06 07:50:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16384148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mackillian/pseuds/Inquartata
Summary: When it comes to her family, Lexi is never entirely certain she wants to hear the answer when she asks, "What happened?"





	The Shark Incident

**Author's Note:**

> Fictober Prompt Fic for:
> 
> 6\. “I heard enough, this ends now.”  
> 7\. “No worries, we still have time.”  
> 8\. “I know you do.”  
> 10\. “You think this troubles me?”  
> 12\. “Who could do this?”  
> 17\. “I’ll tell you but you’re not gonna like it.”  
> 19\. “Oh please, like this is the worst I’ve done.”  
> 29\. “At least it can’t get any worse.”

**The Nexus, sometime in the future.**

When Lexi entered the apartment, the first thing she heard was:

“At least it can’t get any worse,” said by her eldest child, Zahra, from somewhere within.

Which made Lexi vaguely concerned.

“You pretty much just triple-dared fate to make it worse,” Thaia’s voice said from the same location as Zahra.

Anahera, whom Lexi had taken out to procure a miniature brindled pallad for her biology project, had preceded Lexi inside. When she heard Thaia, she set the pallad’s enclosure on the counter and then looked toward the hallway with trepidation. “I don’t think we should’ve left them here without Granddad.”

Lexi sighed. “No, probably not. But we didn’t have much of a choice. We couldn’t even tell your mum what you needed for your project, much less have her take you to get one.”

Anahera didn’t remove her gaze from the hallway. “I hope it doesn’t escape.”

“For its own safety, the _pallad_ better hope it doesn’t escape.”  Lexi motioned toward the hallway. “Let’s put it away before she sees it.”

The increasingly worrisome conversation continued as they headed down the hall.

“I didn’t tempt fate,” said an indignant Zahra.

“You’re my kid so, yeah, you did.” After a slight pause, Thaia said, “No! That’s not for eating! Not even pretend!”

They’d just stepped into Matriarch Sula’s room when Aella’s little voice said, “But I can eat snow!”

“I don’t care if you can eat snow because that isn’t snow,” said Thaia.

Now more than vaguely concerned, Lexi looked down at Anahera. “Would you mind finding out what they’re up to? I don’t want a repeat of the flower incident. I can finish putting this away.”

“All right.” Anahera started toward the room she shared with her sisters.

“I think they’re home,” said Zahra, with some concern.

Lexi picked up the pallad’s enclosure and placed it on the previously negotiated spot on the desk. Sula did not have arachnophobia and had volunteered to harbor the arachnid. She’d volunteered with a suspect amount of glee, but had also sworn to secrecy because no one wanted Thaia to happen upon the innocent pallad and judiciously use her biotics on it out of terror.

It would be messy, should it occur.

“No worries, we still have time,” said Thaia. “We just need to work faster.”

Anahera’s footsteps began thundering down the hallway. 

Steps that anyone would have heard, not just Anahera’s ex-commando mother, but Anahera’s sudden increase in speed shifted Thaia’s strategy. “Shit. Carian, go run interference.”

“What do you want me to do?” asked Carian.

“I don’t know. Be cute. That usually works.”

“It doesn’t work with Mum!”

“Try it anyway,” said Thaia. “Or ask her a question about, I don’t know, why krogan use headbutts to settle debates.”

“Why _do_ krogan use headbutts to settle debates?” asked Zahra.

In any other situation, Lexi would have been pleased that her daughter had asked the question and then happily answered it. Sadly, not in this case.

“We’ll find out if your sister moves her ass,” said Thaia.

And if Thaia was resorting to lengths such as suggesting their daughter use her mother’s own academic interests as a distraction, Anahera would likely need backup. Before Lexi rounded the corner, she heard the door open followed by Anahera yelling, “Who could _do_ this?!”

It sounded like someone had committed murder. There hadn’t been screams, so likely not an _actual_ murder, but depending on what had been done and by whom, there existed the possibility of an attempt. Additionally, while Anahera was Zahra’s twin, she didn’t share the same propensity for using an outdoor voice while indoors—unless something was wrong.

The room devolved into indecipherable shouting from Anahera, Zahra, Carian, and Aella, with a noticeable silence from Thaia.

“I’ve heard enough!” Lexi said as she stepped through the doorway, making solid eye contact with each child. “This ends now.”

The room’s occupants fell silent and Lexi took in the scene.

Stuffing was strewn across the entire bedroom. In the largest pile was Aella, delightedly tossing tufts into the air and watching them slowly float down to land on her next older sister’s head. Carian, a piece of fluff on her crest, stood on the bed, her hand covering her mouth and her eyes wide in horror. Zahra, jaw set in concentration, half-draped over Thaia’s shoulder, one hand close to what might have been a hot patch gun on the floor. Anahera just inside the door, fists at her sides and a deadly glare directed at everyone. And there was Thaia, who sat cross-legged on the floor, holding what appeared to be Sharky, Anahera’s plush shark. 

Which was, upon further inspection, now a husk.

And this was why Lexi disliked leaving Thaia—or anyone, including herself—alone with any of their children in ratios greater than one to one. Because incidents that were indescribable except to be labeled ‘incidents’ took place. 

Each and every time.

Although a small part of her dreaded the answer, Lexi asked, “What happened?”

When no one offered an explanation, Lexi focused her full attention on the likeliest tattletale—the youngest child.

“I’ll tell you but you’re not gonna like it,” Aella said immediately.

It took Lexi more time than she wanted to admit for her to decide whether she truly wanted to know why she wouldn’t like it, much less whatever it was. Because, either by running full-tilt into or out of them, Aella always got herself into predicaments, the results of which were often the bedlam currently on display. If anything, the ancient Thessian meaning of Aella’s name—whirlwind—suited her far too well.

Altogether, it meant that this situation may very well have started with something Aella had done.

“No, don’t confess!” Thaia told Aella. “Have I taught you nothing?”

“Mum taught _me_ how to use a hot patch gun!” said Zahra.

Lexi turned from Zahra to Thaia and raised an eyebrow. “Did she?”

Sharky’s husk still in her lap, Thaia slowly looked up at Lexi. “So I’ll preface this with: I love you.”

“I know you do.” Lexi crossed her arms. “But it’s alarming that you believe you need to preface your explanation with that declaration.”

Thaia pointed to each of the children. “Also, I love all of them. Just to be clear. And they would be sad, were I gone. As a reminder.”

“Given what you may shortly be disclosing, do you think that troubles me?”

Mouth open to deliver her explanation, Thaia closed it as her eyes widened in alarm. “Well, _now_ I don’t.”

“She was trying to help us fix Sharky!” said Carian.

“What did you do to Sharky, you monsters?!” asked Anahera.

It was a fair question.

“I wanted to see if it could swim,” said Aella.

Carian put hands out to demonstrate her role in Sharky’s demise. “I tried to stop her by grabbing Sharky!”

“Then when that didn’t work,” said Zahra, “I grabbed Carian and pulled and Aella wouldn’t let go and we went back and forth.”

Lexi looked expectantly at Thaia. “And where were you during all this?”

“Draining the bath water.” Thaia frowned slightly in Aella’s direction. “After _she_ ran her naked little butt out of the bathroom, giggling and tracking water everywhere.”

“Then Dad,” Carian said, moving to the edge of the bed to pantomime what Thaia had done, “Dad came out and grabbed Sharky and lifted it up, but Aella hung on until Sharky tore!” Carian lowered her voice as she told of the great tragedy. “And then Sharky’s insides spilled _everywhere_.”

Well, things had certainly needlessly escalated while Lexi had been gone, and she didn’t hide her displeasure with her bondmate. “You lifted up the plush shark _and_ your daughter with your hand instead of biotics?”

Thaia glanced between Sharky’s husk and Aella’s arms. “I didn’t think she’d hang on for that long.”

“I said I would!” Aella squared her shoulders and puffed up her chest. “And I did!”

Aella was freakishly strong, and given Thaia’s musculature and holos Lexi had seen of Thaia’s mother’s musculature, it wasn’t surprising that any of their daughters were stronger than average. However, when a headstrong nature like Aella’s combined with physical strength, it made for extraordinary feats. Feats such as bowling into an adult krogan hard enough to rock him on his feet. Matriarch Sula, the only asari witness, had been incredibly proud and frequently recounted the story to anyone who would listen.

Lexi sighed. “And then what happened?”

“We tried to fix it,” said Carian. “We really did.”

“How is this fixing it?” Anahera flung her arms in the direction of Sharky’s empty husk and then the stuffing covering the floor. “How?”  

“We weren’t finished,” said Thaia.

“Obviously,” said Lexi.

Thaia caught every single warranted and deserved remonstration Lexi did not say out loud and took exception. And then she had the audacity to give _Lexi_ an exasperated look. “Oh, please. Like this is the worst I’ve done.”

“Teaching your ten-year-old how to use a hot patch gun isn’t exactly low on the list, either.”

“I taught her safety measures, too.” Thaia reached to her side and picked up a small pair of heavy-duty gloves. “Including wearing these.”

Zahra glanced back and forth between her parents, brows drawing together in concern that Lexi recognized as one any child had when it looked like Mum and Dad might be headed for an earnest argument. Lexi knew they weren’t and Thaia did as well, but Zahra didn’t have the advantage of knowing her parents as well as they knew each other. While Lexi wasn’t thrilled with the current incident, no one had been injured and the apartment was in reasonable condition, so continuing with antagonizing her bondmate wasn’t worth the insecurity it was producing in their children. When Thaia glanced at Lexi, their agreement to drop the mostly feigned anger was tacitly made.

“Perhaps,” Lexi said, easing the bite from her tone, “the inclusion of safety rules bumps this down to the middle of the list.”

The corner of Thaia’s mouth twitched in a tiny smile that sparkled in her eyes. “Well, I did assume that if Zahra burned her hand followed by patching herself to the floor that you’d be pissed.”

Lexi matched the smile. “And you would be right. Rendering medical aid while your patient is attached to an immoveable object presents its own difficulties.” She’d lost count of how many times she’d needed to use her medical expertise on her family several years ago, though someone hot patching themselves to the floor would be a new mechanism of injury that wasn’t outside the realm of possibility. They were nothing if not creative.

“Since I didn’t want to become part of the Nexus, I wore the gloves and didn’t even complain,” said Zahra, relief relaxing her features. Then she slid farther forward off Thaia’s shoulder, took Sharky’s husk from Thaia’s hands, and held it up in the direction of the door. “We were trying to seal the torn seam but the gun was too hot and it melted so we had to stop. I was doing a really good job, otherwise.”

“It melted?” Anahera’s voice quavered. “You _melted_ Sharky?”

Thaia exchanged a mildly panicked look with Lexi. Outrage had clearly been the expected outcome, not tears, tears that were now perilously close to entering the fray. 

Zahra answered first. “No!” Now upside down and taking up the space on Thaia’s lap previously occupied by the misfortunate Sharky, Zahra pointed at a small, hardened line at the ventral middle seam. “Just this! Sharky’s okay.” She frowned at the husk. “ _Will_ be okay. Mum said she has another idea.”

The last time Thaia had tried to sew, it had ended with an entire spool of thread loosely wrapped around Carian and Zahra, Aella giggling madly as she ran from the wrath of her sisters, Anahera attempting to free the first two from the tangled thread, and Thaia trying to chase down Aella only to step on three needles in quick succession. 

In other words, it had not gone well.

“ _Not_ sewing,” Thaia said to Lexi before she could be asked. “I’ve got some hull breach sealant in my toolkit. If it’ll hold a plate to a hull when the ship’s in FTL, it’ll hold together a plush toy.”

“And you don’t think that might be a little much?” 

Thaia’s eyes flicked over toward Anahera, who was still on the verge of tears, and back to Lexi. “No.”

After Lexi reassessed Anahera’s state, she was inclined to agree.

Carian leapt off the bed, stuffing rising into the air and then falling around her as she bounced on her feet. “Can I get the toolkit? Please?”

“Yes, but no using anything in it without supervision,” Thaia said, a small smile appearing on her lips. Carian was Thaia’s usual eager volunteer for technical projects or repairs and, in that respect, very much her father’s daughter. “Bring it straight here.”

“I will! I mean I won’t! Then I will!” With that, Carian raced from the room, only pausing long enough to grab Anahera’s hand and drag her along.

Lexi walked across the room, careful to step around any tufts of stuffing, and then seated herself on Zahra’s bed.

Once they were gone, Zahra became serious, her eyes shimmering with worry as she looked up at Thaia. “Do you really think you can fix it?”

Thaia nodded. “If that sealant can’t hold together the seam on a plush shark, then every ship in this cluster will need retrofitting. So, yes, is what I’m saying.”

“Let me help!” With that, Aella launched herself toward Thaia and Zahra, but impact and injuries were avoided when her forward momentum was arrested by biotic fields from both her parents. 

Yet, instead of being frustrated at being stymied, Aella laughed. She laughed because every time she ended up in a stasis for her own safety or the safety of others, she insisted that it tickled. And Aella was never a child to be cooperative when impossible was an option, much like one of her parents, which meant she did things to get put into a stasis on purpose.

To Lexi, it still seemed unfair that a daughter _she_ had mothered was so much like Thaia had been as a child. And so she directed a look that said _she’s your daughter_ toward the person whom Aella most often resembled.

Thaia’s silent answer was _you’re the one who mothered her, not me_.

It truly was unjust. 

“Leave her there,” Zahra said with a scowl. “She’s done enough damage.”

Aella’s laughter guttered out. “How can I make it better?” As of late, the question she’d posed in an uncharacteristically soft voice had become a refrain. But each time Aella asked, she meant it. While she might not foresee the consequences of her actions—because four-year-olds still suffered from the belief that the world revolved around them—finding out she’d hurt someone with them distressed her. And if Aella had reached the point of asking how to help, it signaled that she was done with mischief for the time being. 

Lexi and Thaia carefully lowered her to her feet.

Once her sister was free, Zahra grumbled, heaved a sigh, and flopped onto the floor. Then, without prompting, she said, “Fine. Help me gather all the stuffing.”

By the time Carian and Anahera returned, Zahra and Aella, with some direction from Thaia, had piled the stuffing in the center of the room. Anahera scrubbed at her face and then crawled into Lexi’s lap, quietly watching the proceedings after Lexi wrapped her arms around her and held her close.

As an enthusiastic Carian sorted through the various tubes of sealant in the toolkit, Thaia held Sharky open while Zahra and Aella shoved the stuffing back in. On confirmation that the floor was clear of stuffing and said stuffing was in the once again stuffed shark, Thaia held the ripped seam closed with her left hand and then extended her right to Carian. “Sealant.”

Lips pressed together in a straight line, Carian placed the tube in Thaia’s hand and then stepped back. Zahra took the cue to take Aella by the shoulders and pull her back, as well. The incident with the wheel had taught them the hard way to give a wide berth to high-grade adhesives. “You picked the right one. Good job,” Thaia said and then uncapped the tube one-handed as Carian beamed at the praise.

Her lips pressed into a straight line like Carian’s were, Thaia painstakingly painted a thin layer of sealant on one side of the seam, capped the tube and set it next to her, and then pressed the seam closed.

“How long does it take to set?” asked Zahra.

“Ten seconds,” said Carian. “You should remember from last time.”

“We’re all trying not to,” said Lexi.

Anahera’s laugh was silent, but it was enough to briefly shake her shoulders. A good sign for an upswing.

“There!” Thaia let go of the seam and shook the shark to distribute the stuffing. The seam held, but Thaia frowned. “Why’s it not filling out? It should be puffy again.” She continued frowning as she returned the sealant to the toolkit and closed it and Sharky still hadn’t returned to its previous state.

“It looks kinda flat,” said Aella.

“Fuck,” Thaia said under her breath. “Are you sure we got all the stuffing?” Before anyone answered, she stretched out on the floor and began searching under furniture. Zahra, Carian, and Aella, equally as alarmed, joined her in quick order.

Within minutes, Thaia—head and entire upper torso beneath Zahra’s bed—said, “Fuck.”

“What’s wrong?” asked Lexi.

“I found the missing stuffing. But we can’t open the shark again because that fucking sealant isn’t going to let go easily and there’d be a bigger tear than before.”

If Lexi didn’t know better, Thaia sounded like she was closer to tears than Anahera had been earlier. Or maybe she did know better. The events of the day would easily be overwhelming even for someone as at home within chaos as Thaia was, so genuine upset wasn’t out of the question.

Anahera slid from Lexi’s lap and took the shark from Zahra’s hands. “It’s all right,” she said after a few moments of study, her grey eyes lighting up with a sudden, pleased revelation. “We’ll call it Pancake from now on.” And, just like that, she was perfectly content.

Lexi’s children would never ceased to amaze her with their ready adaptability.

Then they heard the front door open and Sula shouting, “Where is everyone?”

All four children bolted from the bedroom, Anahera holding the renamed Pancake in the air, jostling with her sisters to be at the front of the pack to greet their grandfather.

“Thank fuck,” Thaia said after the children’s shouts had faded as they dashed down the hallway.

Lexi leaned over the edge of the bed and asked with a teasing smile, “Are you going to come out from under there?”

Her voice more strained than before Anahera had declared the repair a success, Thaia said, “Eventually.” 

“It’s okay, you know.” Lexi abandoned the bed and took a seat next to Thaia’s legs, which still stuck out from beneath the bed. Then she gave Thaia’s calf a fond rub and then a squeeze purely to indulge in the firm shape of the muscle. “Everyone’s healthy, the shark’s in reasonable shape, and when they’re adults, this incident won’t require anymore psychotherapy than the others.”

Thaia laughed, jerking her body upward, and she smacked her head on the bed frame. “Shit, ow.” Then she wriggled out from under the bed, rolled over onto her back, and put her forearm over her eyes.

“You even,” Lexi said as she tugged Thaia’s arm down and wiped away the remnants of a few escaped tears with the cuff of her own shirt, “kept the fucks to a minimum until the very end. You should consider this a success, the shark’s name change aside.”

“I don’t like disappointing them and I thought I’d fucked it up.” Thaia pushed herself into a sitting position next to Lexi, back against the bed. “And I have no fucking idea where Cora got the shark or even what kind of shark it is. Great white? And Sara mentioned something about jaws? So outright replacing it wasn’t an immediate option, either.”

And that was yet another reason why when any of the children had biology projects, Thaia was not the family member to whom they turned for help. “Goddess, it’s a _hammerhead_ shark. Do you automatically tune everything out whenever anything remotely related to biology comes up?”

Thaia’s smile turned salacious as she whispered, “Not everything.”

“Really?” Lexi tilted her head in inquiry. “You didn’t need remedial instruction about how asari twins—”

The rest of her reminder was cut off by Thaia’s laugh swiftly followed by a kiss.

Which was, equally as swiftly, interrupted by Zahra running into the room, her question flying as fast as her feet. “Dad, why do krogan use headbutts to—oh, _goddess_ , you have your own room!” Then she spun and sprinted back out.

Laughter rising in her chest, Lexi pulled back enough to say, “She got that from you.”

Thaia dropped her forehead onto Lexi’s shoulder and sighed dramatically. “She did.”

“I’ll say,” Sula said from the doorway. “It’s like you and your kid both suffer from the delusion that you popped into existence from nowhere because there’s no fucking way your parents did something like melded to make you.”

“Goddess, _why_?” Thaia muttered into Lexi’s coat.

There was a simultaneous strangled cry of dismay from Zahra. 

Sula cackled as she strolled back down the hallway. “Two for one that time. Haven’t lost my touch.”


End file.
